Let's face it. Not every day is automatically ideal. We're not always feeling at the top of our game. When things get bogged down, our ego can take a bit of a hit. Maybe we don't feel quite as fulfilled, successful and special as we'd like. When that happens it can drag us down and keep us at less than our best, sometimes at a time when there's a big opportunity, whether it's a sales presentation that means business success, or wanting to ask out someone special for a date. Rather than let that ego dip drag us down, wouldn't it be great to do something to build yourself back up?
Recently I was in New York City out at dinner with my wife before heading to a Broadway show. We were dining next to a table of five women celebrating a birthday (coincidentally it was my wife's birthday as well). The age range at their table was from the early 20s to the 50s. My wife and the woman celebrating her birthday had a bit of conversation, congratulating each other, and we all returned to our own meals and celebrations.
As the other table started getting set to leave, I stood up to offer help the ladies with their coats. The women took note of me rising when they did and it became the subject of excited discussion, sharing remarks on how pleasant it was for them to have a man stand from the table when women do, offer chivalry and how you rarely see it done any more. The positive comments, smiles and exuberance came from all the women, so it wasn't simply the older women who may have remembered chivalry as a more common gesture. Even the younger women responded with enthusiasm.
The attention was striking. I was not looking for anything to happen with any of the women at the table, I am completely enamored with my wife, but the reaction gave me a stronger sense of being noticed. Being appreciated. Standing out from many of the other guys these women might encounter. For lack of a better term, my ego felt puffed up.
It made me feel more self-assured on the spot, made me smile inside. I was not looking for anything to "happen" with any of the women at the table, this wasn't any kind of come-on, I am completely enamored with my wife. But the reaction gave me a stronger sense of being a distinctive gentleman, someone who stood out from the crowd of the many men out there these women encounter.
| || |
That sense of standing out was a powerful elixir. I'd done something to brighten the day of some women I just happened to meet, and it ended up brightening my own. When we left, I felt taller, walked with a bit more lilt in my step. And found out I'd touched a sense of pride in me by my wife as well.
So when your ego could use a boost, when you're looking for something that'll give you more self-assurance, dip into your gestures of chivalry and offer some. Whatever it does for the woman, it'll be just as flattering in the way you see yourself.
© 2015, John Rasiej, Bring Chivalry Back
If you would like to share this article on your blog or other means, you may reprint it only in its entirety, include the photo and the following attribution:
John Rasiej is a Chivalry and Relationship Expert who founded Bring Chivalry Back™ for the purpose of enhancing the quality and enjoyment of relationships by men and women. He rediscovered the value of chivalry several years ago and has been practicing it both in his marriage of 24 years as well as when he's been among groups made up largely of women. Chivalry and similar gestures resulted in a more satisfying marital relationship and life, and also helped him stand out to many women in those group. He now shares the value of chivalry with more men and couples so they too can have happier results. You can follow him and get a special report how to deepen relationships and attract a woman's admiration at BringChivalryBack.com. You can follow him on twitter at @YesToChivalry.