If you allow yourself to become more aware of chivalry, you'll start noticing more and more opportunities to put it on display.  The good news is that it offers men a low cost way to get noticed and admired.

Think about it... some men will dip deep into their bank accounts (or their credit lines) to spring for a fancy car, trendy clothes or expensive watch... largely in an effort to get noticed.  It's a never-ending challenge as they have to keep spending more money to stay ahead of everyone else who is doing the same things.  
Now there's nothing wrong with a beautiful car or great clothes and any man would want to look trig, but an astute guy will realize that how he behaves gets him noticed.  In today's world, chivalry is still so infrequent that it catches the eyes of others powerfully when it happens.  Social media is filled with posts and tweets from women who see it happening or receive it from a man.
It's not that the sole or even main purpose of offering chivalry is simply to get noticed.  That would be disingenuous, and sooner or later people would see through it.  But there's also nothing wrong with admitting that like many of the altruistic things we do as humans, some benefits ascribe to the doer.  So bask in the opportunity for the best aspects of your character to create the image you want. 
Man noticed by women
If you are looking to attract more women into your circle, you could take some of the money you'd spend on that extra-fancy car and put it into yourself.  Take chivalry lessons, learn proper etiquette, take a class on stage presence for making presentations... those things will cost less upfront and pay off much longer.

That will have a long-lasting effect that will outlive the car you buy and the latest trendy clothes.  And if you still want to enhance how you stand out in addition to your great character by also driving a better car or having a more eye-catching watch, more power to you.  Just don't make those the sole ways you look to stand out.

© 2015, John Rasiej, Bring Chivalry Back

If you would like to share this article on your blog or other means, you may reprint it only in its entirety, include the photo and the following attribution:
Picture
John Rasiej is a Chivalry and Relationship Expert who founded Bring Chivalry Back™ for the purpose of enhancing the quality and enjoyment of relationships by men and women. He rediscovered the value of chivalry several years ago and has been practicing it both in his marriage of 24 years as well as when he's been among groups made up largely of women. Chivalry and similar gestures resulted in a more satisfying marital relationship and life, and also helped him stand out to many women in those group. He now shares the value of chivalry with more men and couples so they too can have happier results. You can follow him and get a special report how to deepen relationships and attract a woman's admiration at BringChivalryBack.com.  You can follow him on twitter at @YesToChivalry.

 
 
Thumbs down
Let's face it.  Not every day is automatically ideal.  We're not always feeling at the top of our game.  When things get bogged down, our ego can take a bit of a hit.  Maybe we don't feel quite as fulfilled, successful and special as we'd like.  When that happens it can drag us down and keep us at less than our best, sometimes at a time when there's a big opportunity, whether it's a sales presentation that means business success, or wanting to ask out someone special for a date.  Rather than let that ego dip drag us down, wouldn't it be great to do something to build yourself back up?

Recently I was in New York City out at dinner with my wife before heading to a Broadway show.  We were dining next to a table of five women celebrating a birthday (coincidentally it was my wife's birthday as well).   The age range at their table was from the early 20s to the 50s.  My wife and the woman celebrating her birthday had a bit of conversation, congratulating each other, and we all returned to our own meals and celebrations.
As the other table started getting set to leave, I stood up to offer help the ladies with their coats.  The women took note of me rising when they did and it became the subject of excited discussion, sharing remarks on how pleasant it was for them to have a man stand from the table when women do, offer chivalry and how you rarely see it done any more.  The positive comments, smiles and exuberance came from all the women, so it wasn't simply the older women who may have remembered chivalry as a more common gesture.  Even the younger women responded with enthusiasm.
The attention was striking.  I was not looking for anything to happen with any of the women at the table, I am completely enamored with my wife, but the reaction gave me a stronger sense of being noticed.  Being appreciated.  Standing out from many of the other guys these women might encounter.  For lack of a better term, my ego felt puffed up.
It made me feel more self-assured on the spot, made me smile inside.  I was not looking for anything to "happen" with any of the women at the table, this wasn't any kind of come-on, I am completely enamored with my wife.  But the reaction gave me a stronger sense of being a distinctive gentleman, someone who stood out from the crowd of the many men out there these women encounter. 
That sense of standing out was a powerful elixir. I'd done something to brighten the day of some women I just happened to meet, and it ended up brightening my own.  When we left, I felt taller, walked with a bit more lilt in my step.  And found out I'd touched a sense of pride in me by my wife as well.
So when your ego could use a boost, when you're looking for something that'll give you more self-assurance, dip into your gestures of chivalry and offer some.  Whatever it does for the woman, it'll be just as flattering in the way you see yourself.
© 2015, John Rasiej, Bring Chivalry Back

If you would like to share this article on your blog or other means, you may reprint it only in its entirety, include the photo and the following attribution:


John Rasiej
John Rasiej is a Chivalry and Relationship Expert who founded Bring Chivalry Back™ for the purpose of enhancing the quality and enjoyment of relationships by men and women. He rediscovered the value of chivalry several years ago and has been practicing it both in his marriage of 24 years as well as when he's been among groups made up largely of women. Chivalry and similar gestures resulted in a more satisfying marital relationship and life, and also helped him stand out to many women in those group. He now shares the value of chivalry with more men and couples so they too can have happier results. You can follow him and get a special report how to deepen relationships and attract a woman's admiration at BringChivalryBack.com.  You can follow him on twitter at @YesToChivalry.

 
 
Every so often on my twitter feed I read items from women with a strident tone demanding chivalry, and complaining when it’s missing.  To women who feel that way, my advice is to change your perspective so you start attracting more.
Man opening car door for woman
The very element of demanding it creates a dynamic that demeans the whole meaning behind it.  Chivalry brings with it a statement of a man considering women special and worthy of caring.  If all women want is the grunt work of having someone open the door for them or carry their bags or give up the seat on the subway, they are robbing it of the graciousness behind chivalry.   Just about any woman I know if fully capable of opening her own door, carrying her own bags and standing on a moving bus or train.  So it isn’t the physical need of having that door opened that a lady would want, it’s the meaning behind it.


 
 
When I read my twitter feed or search for tweets on #Chivalry, there are a steady stream of complaints.  Not just from women.  From men too. 
Some women tweet about how rare chivalry is and how disappointed they are in men nowadays.  How no man stood up on the bus or train to offer a seat to a woman.  How someone let a door hit them rather than hold it for her.  How men have become so disinterested in offering these gestures.
Couple in black T-shorts and tight jeans
Men will jump in with a perspective that women will say they want chivalry and affection but that it's not the truth.  They will say that when push comes to shove women will want "bad boys" or will choose looks over good character.  And they will cite that a an excuse to not offer chivalry to any woman, saying it's not deserved or reciprocated.

Of course, judging an entire gender by the actions of some subset is unfair to all.  It's true that there are men who will offer chivalry and others who will not.  There are women who will appreciate it and gravitate toward men who offer it and others who are just looking for a hot date with a slick-dressed man in a fast car.


 
 
Question mark
Single men are always wondering how to get the attention of women they'd like to meet.  Many sites offer all sorts of "magic" pick-up lines or "secret" seduction techniques.  They prey on the hopes of young guys (well, not always just young ones) who are often a bit shy and/or not necessarily blessed with model looks or a bodybuilder's physique.  What if the answer were simpler?
Last night I took my wife out for a drink after we'd had dinner with some friends. I felt like going to The Tilted Kilt to check it out.  It was a lively and loud Irish pub filled largely with young people.  Many men and some groups of women too.  The waitresses are dressed in kilts and tops that accentuate their figures (busboys wear kilts too).  We were treated by a very pretty and young waitress named Melissa who had a sweet smile and a great attitude.

As we were leaving I helped my wife off her chair (we were sitting at a high-top) and then helped her on with her coat.  Melissa walked back over to us to tell us we looked "adorable."  She said it's so rare to see couples treating each other the way my wife and I did.
A woman noticing you
It's always nice to get some reassurance that you're being noticed and appreciated.  I am happily married for more than 23 years and plan for many more; yet it's still a great feeling when you can place a smile on the face of any woman.  I've consistently seen this happen when practicing chivalry toward women I meet as well as when they see me being chivalrous with my wife.

Afterward I thought to myself 'how many of the young single men in this place would like to capture the attention of this young woman?' Or some other woman they'd like to meet?