If you allow yourself to become more aware of chivalry, you'll start noticing more and more opportunities to put it on display.  The good news is that it offers men a low cost way to get noticed and admired.

Think about it... some men will dip deep into their bank accounts (or their credit lines) to spring for a fancy car, trendy clothes or expensive watch... largely in an effort to get noticed.  It's a never-ending challenge as they have to keep spending more money to stay ahead of everyone else who is doing the same things.  
Now there's nothing wrong with a beautiful car or great clothes and any man would want to look trig, but an astute guy will realize that how he behaves gets him noticed.  In today's world, chivalry is still so infrequent that it catches the eyes of others powerfully when it happens.  Social media is filled with posts and tweets from women who see it happening or receive it from a man.
It's not that the sole or even main purpose of offering chivalry is simply to get noticed.  That would be disingenuous, and sooner or later people would see through it.  But there's also nothing wrong with admitting that like many of the altruistic things we do as humans, some benefits ascribe to the doer.  So bask in the opportunity for the best aspects of your character to create the image you want. 
Man noticed by women
If you are looking to attract more women into your circle, you could take some of the money you'd spend on that extra-fancy car and put it into yourself.  Take chivalry lessons, learn proper etiquette, take a class on stage presence for making presentations... those things will cost less upfront and pay off much longer.

That will have a long-lasting effect that will outlive the car you buy and the latest trendy clothes.  And if you still want to enhance how you stand out in addition to your great character by also driving a better car or having a more eye-catching watch, more power to you.  Just don't make those the sole ways you look to stand out.

© 2015, John Rasiej, Bring Chivalry Back

If you would like to share this article on your blog or other means, you may reprint it only in its entirety, include the photo and the following attribution:
Picture
John Rasiej is a Chivalry and Relationship Expert who founded Bring Chivalry Back™ for the purpose of enhancing the quality and enjoyment of relationships by men and women. He rediscovered the value of chivalry several years ago and has been practicing it both in his marriage of 24 years as well as when he's been among groups made up largely of women. Chivalry and similar gestures resulted in a more satisfying marital relationship and life, and also helped him stand out to many women in those group. He now shares the value of chivalry with more men and couples so they too can have happier results. You can follow him and get a special report how to deepen relationships and attract a woman's admiration at BringChivalryBack.com.  You can follow him on twitter at @YesToChivalry.

 
 
Thumbs down
Let's face it.  Not every day is automatically ideal.  We're not always feeling at the top of our game.  When things get bogged down, our ego can take a bit of a hit.  Maybe we don't feel quite as fulfilled, successful and special as we'd like.  When that happens it can drag us down and keep us at less than our best, sometimes at a time when there's a big opportunity, whether it's a sales presentation that means business success, or wanting to ask out someone special for a date.  Rather than let that ego dip drag us down, wouldn't it be great to do something to build yourself back up?

Recently I was in New York City out at dinner with my wife before heading to a Broadway show.  We were dining next to a table of five women celebrating a birthday (coincidentally it was my wife's birthday as well).   The age range at their table was from the early 20s to the 50s.  My wife and the woman celebrating her birthday had a bit of conversation, congratulating each other, and we all returned to our own meals and celebrations.
As the other table started getting set to leave, I stood up to offer help the ladies with their coats.  The women took note of me rising when they did and it became the subject of excited discussion, sharing remarks on how pleasant it was for them to have a man stand from the table when women do, offer chivalry and how you rarely see it done any more.  The positive comments, smiles and exuberance came from all the women, so it wasn't simply the older women who may have remembered chivalry as a more common gesture.  Even the younger women responded with enthusiasm.
The attention was striking.  I was not looking for anything to happen with any of the women at the table, I am completely enamored with my wife, but the reaction gave me a stronger sense of being noticed.  Being appreciated.  Standing out from many of the other guys these women might encounter.  For lack of a better term, my ego felt puffed up.
It made me feel more self-assured on the spot, made me smile inside.  I was not looking for anything to "happen" with any of the women at the table, this wasn't any kind of come-on, I am completely enamored with my wife.  But the reaction gave me a stronger sense of being a distinctive gentleman, someone who stood out from the crowd of the many men out there these women encounter. 
That sense of standing out was a powerful elixir. I'd done something to brighten the day of some women I just happened to meet, and it ended up brightening my own.  When we left, I felt taller, walked with a bit more lilt in my step.  And found out I'd touched a sense of pride in me by my wife as well.
So when your ego could use a boost, when you're looking for something that'll give you more self-assurance, dip into your gestures of chivalry and offer some.  Whatever it does for the woman, it'll be just as flattering in the way you see yourself.
© 2015, John Rasiej, Bring Chivalry Back

If you would like to share this article on your blog or other means, you may reprint it only in its entirety, include the photo and the following attribution:


John Rasiej
John Rasiej is a Chivalry and Relationship Expert who founded Bring Chivalry Back™ for the purpose of enhancing the quality and enjoyment of relationships by men and women. He rediscovered the value of chivalry several years ago and has been practicing it both in his marriage of 24 years as well as when he's been among groups made up largely of women. Chivalry and similar gestures resulted in a more satisfying marital relationship and life, and also helped him stand out to many women in those group. He now shares the value of chivalry with more men and couples so they too can have happier results. You can follow him and get a special report how to deepen relationships and attract a woman's admiration at BringChivalryBack.com.  You can follow him on twitter at @YesToChivalry.

 
 
List of resolutions
It's the time of year when all sorts of people are giving all sorts of advice for making New Year's resolutions.  The most common ones seem to be about losing weight and getting in shape.  Others have to do with being better organized, whether about things or about finances.  

How about a resolution for chivalry?

It's a great time to resolve to be more chivalrous in the coming year!  That can work for anyone at any range of the "chivalry spectrum'" (meaning whether you're already being chivalrous often or whether it would be a brand new concept for you).
Young gentleman opening door
If you're not already doing chivalry as a matter of course, how about a resolution to do just one gesture consistently?  Perhaps choose to offer to open doors for women, including opening her car door before you come around to the other side (and opening hers again when you arrive at your destination).  Another place to start may be offering to help her on with her coat.

If you're already doing some chivalrous gestures, how about a resolution to expand your repertoire?  When I started practicing, it wasn't as if I had all the possibilities nailed right off the bat.  I got good at opening doors and pulling out chairs, but it was a while later that I got into the habit of standing at the table when a woman rises.  There may be gestures that would add more style and distinctiveness to what you do.  Why not resolve to add them this year?

Woman standing on crowded train
It could even be to expand your gestures to more people.  Perhaps you're used to being chivalrous just to your girlfriend or wife.  Why not make this the year of offering chivalry to more women in public situations?  Perhaps resolve to be aware of offering your seat to a woman when she's standing on a crowded train or bus.  

If you want some ideas on ways you can be more chivalrous, drop me an email and we can schedule a chat to see what I may suggest for you!

So how about it: "I resolve to be more chivalrous in 2015."  Easier than you may think, and the results may be bigger than you realize. 
© 2014, John Rasiej, Bring Chivalry Back
If you would like to share this article on your blog or other means, you may reprint it only in its entirety, include the photo and the following attribution:
Picture
John Rasiej is a Chivalry and Relationship Expert who founded Bring Chivalry Back™ for the purpose of enhancing the quality and enjoyment of relationships by men and women. He rediscovered the value of chivalry several years ago and has been practicing it both in his marriage of 24 years as well as when he's been among groups made up largely of women. Chivalry and similar gestures resulted in a more satisfying marital relationship and life, and also helped him stand out to many women in those group. He now shares the value of chivalry with more men and couples so they too can have happier results. You can follow him and get a special report how to deepen relationships and attract a woman's admiration at BringChivalryBack.com.  You can follow him on twitter at @YesToChivalry.

 
 
Pitcher throwing ball
If you're into sports, you've likely heard the term "short-arming the ball."  If not, what it means is not using a full extension of your arm when you are making a pitch, throwing a football etc.  The reason athletes want to avoid "short-arming" the ball is that it causes a loss in distance and velocity.  It's less effective.  Coaches will work with those athletes to help them get more extension and a greater range of motion in their throwing attempts, so they attain more speed and accuracy. 

There's an equivalent to short-arming when it comes to chivalry.  For some guys there's a degree of uncertainty.  Do they really want to do it?  Does she really want it?  Do I look too formal or out-of-place?  What ends up happening for some men is that they pull back and offer something that looks chivalrous but isn't fully extended.  That results in a gesture that looks awkward or not elegant, and it renders the act less effective.


 
 
A lot of times when the word "priorities" gets used, it focuses on business.  That seems to be where a lot of attention gets placed in terms of having a path to get things accomplished.  People will create action plans and strategies to implement steps.  There will be ongoing reviews of progress to make sure those priorities are being met.  It's all done to help provide a measurable path to success.
Less often that word comes up for people in their personal lives.  It's as if life is expected to sort of hum along.  and that we can throw our attention to things as they crop up.
Man labeling priority list
What if you were to give the same evaluation of priorities to your life?  How would things change?  And where would your main relationship (husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend) fit in?

It is frequently heard that on people's deathbeds they express the wish that they had spent more time with family than on building their careers.  So why didn't they?  Could it be because on the job they got pulled into a line of thinking about priorities and goals that remained something on which they could focus?