When I began this site and this blog, I also created a presence on social media, on facebook, pinterest and twitter.  It's fun to connect with people and find out what they're thinking.  It's what I see on twitter that has me wondering about the state of the union in terms of men and women.
When I see posts about the positive nature of chivalry, or posts from women who ask where they might find men who offer it, responses often range from negative to outright vile.  I understand that the anonymous nature of comments on the Internet allow an unfiltered flood of comments, but that's precisely my point.  The unfiltered opinions as so hateful.  How come so many men hold on to a position where they approach life as if women are the enemy and are trying to take things away from men?
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Men will respond that women killed chivalry with their demands for equal rights, or that women walk all over guys who treat them nicely.  If they wrote it as a straightforward comment perhaps it could be of service in creating some dialogue but all too many comments devolve into calling women b**ches, h**s or worse.  It's with anger and hate that these men talk abut women.  So how do these men expect women to respond back?

Unless all these men are gay, which doesn't seem to be their case, it would seem that they would generally want to end up with a woman at some point in time for some sort of interaction.  If that's the theory, what does it say about these guys if they are chasing after these same people they consider to be b**ches or h**s?  If what you seek is so low on the scale, you are saying something about yourself and your own standards.


Woan yelling her position
Before this seems like a rant against men who have angry comments toward women, the fairer sex doesn't always uphold the highest approach either.  Posts from women will make vile accusations against men as well.  Some will use outright profanity when talking about men who don't offer chivalry to them.  Others will use profanity or other crass name-calling to berate men who want to offer chivalry to them. 

For the women who would like to receive some nicer treatment, how could using profanity in their questions possibly be seen as the ladylike behavior that would attract positive attention from a gentleman?  To me it shows a crass side that reveals an unpleasant and unattractive aspect of the woman's character.
For the women opposed to chivalry with the view that it demeans them, if the aim is to get men to understand, does telling them to crawl back under rocks engender men listening or just getting defensive?
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We live in times when there are all kinds of challenges for people, where relationships are not always easy to start or maintain, and where there are larger issues to life thnt whether a man opens a door for a woman.  Wouldn't both men and women benefit by seeing each other as parts of solutions and being able to come together in respectful and rational ways as opposed to retreating to opposing sides and resorting to warfare against the opposite gender?  We have many common reasons to want things better for each of us, why not see us as uniting instead of battling?

It's the only way things get better for both: for women and for men.
 
 
With the Thanksgiving season around, issues of gratitude come to the forefront.  I got to thinking a bit about the issue of a man being thanked for chivalry.  Is it mandatory on the part of the woman?  Desirable?  Helpful?  What should a gentleman do if thanks are not offered?  

I was recently interviewed on a BBC radio program hosted by popular host Graham Torrington, dealing with the issue of chivalry and whether it's dead. 
Graham mentioned that if he holds the door for a woman and she doesn't acknowledge the gesture he will sometimes call after her and say something to the effect of "the word you're looking for is 'thank you.' "  

 
 
Fairly regularly I read items (sometimes in tweets directed at me, other times they're opinion pieces in blogs) ridiculing the idea of chivalry at a time of gender equality.  How DARE I promote something that carries the message of male superiority and female inferiority?  The way I see chivalry, as you may surmise, is not based on any such notion.

The offering of chivalry and the notion of equal rights for women can co-exist quite easily.  The dividing line becomes something that’s more nuanced.  It’s a recognition that there are differences in how people get treated in a professional/ workplace environment and how they are treated when in a social situation.
When it comes to the workplace, women and men have the same rights to compete for jobs, to receive fair treatment, to get paid the same if they do the same work in the same circumstances etc.  Both men and women benefit when companies hire the best qualified people to do whatever needs to be done.  I also would say that there is a space for what would be common professional courtesy in a workplace whereas gestures of chivalry would not be apropos.
Woman CEO