Think of how many dates you go on during your life. If it’s just 10 a year, that’s anywhere from 400 to 600 dates. Hopefully more. Let’s say each one costs $100 on average, some more, some less. That’s $40,000! Of course, if some of those dates turn into "the real thing" they can become priceless.
Realize that if you're married the dating doesn't stop. Great dates can keep the relationship better and make you both a touch happier so you stay together. So those dates become worth however much a breakup and divorce could cost you.
Among all those dates, how many of them turn into simply another 'fine' but quickly forgotten time? How many leave her feeling like the place was nice, the food was good but nothing stood out as memorable?
If the date isn’t memorable, how will you be?
The way you act, your approach and using chivalry can take a mundane date and make it special, make it memorable. She will feel treated special, appreciated and cherished. She’ll sense that there’s more to you than with so many of the guys she’s dated. Or if you’re already together and married or otherwise in a committed relationship she’ll sense you aren’t taking anything for granted. That may change how she responds to you in kind .
Here are 20 gestures you can offer to make your date more memorable (with a memorability quotient --1 to 5, with 5 being highest):
2. Offer to pick her up. There is something elegant about starting the date with your chariot (which you’ve had washed of course). It allows a little conversation before you’re at a restaurant amid all the potential distraction and noise. Memorable rating 4. (note: for security on a first date, she may prefer not to have someone she doesn't know well come to her home and may prefer to meet at the restaurant).
5. Escort her to the car. No walking ahead of her and having her trail behind you. Offer to open the passenger door for her so she can get in more comfortably. Then go around and get in the driver's side and head over to the restaurant you’ve chosen. Memorable rating 4.
6. When you arrive, ask her if she’d wait a moment in her seat so you can come around and get the door for her. This is one gesture so few men do. Memorable rating 5.
9. As you're heading for your table, you lead the way if there’s no maître d’ or hostess. That way you can make sure nothing or no one gets in the way and bumps into her. If there is a host leading the way, allow the lady to follow him or her and then you follow your date. Memorable rating 2.
10. As you get to the table, determine which seat has the best view. Ask your date if she’d like to sit there nod then position yourself behind that chair and pull it out for her. Your date then stands between the chair and the table as you gently push the chair in. As she feels the seat touch her leg, she sits, and once she is seated you gently push the chair in further . For extra points you may even unfold and place her napkin. Memorable rating 5.
12. When items are served make sure that her glass is filled and plate is served before yours. Other than pouring a taste of wine by the man, the lady’s glass is filled before his. Memorable rating 3.
13. Make the date about her and not the meal. Take your time and watch your table manners. Allow conversation to happen. Memorable rating 3.
14. If your date needs to leave the table during the date, when she stands, you want to rise as well. Stand until she has left. When she returns, you may go back to her chair and hold it for her again. At a minimum, stand again when she returns to the table. Memorable rating 5.
15. If you’ve asked her for the date, presume you will be paying. That goes particularly for the first dates. Memorable rating 3.
16. Once the meal is over and you both decide it’s time to go, ask her to wait a moment so you may come around and pull out her chair to ease her exit. Memorable rating 5.
17. Lead her toward the exit, retrieving her coat offering to help her on with it. Memorable rating 4.
Memorable rating 5.
19. Once you arrive back at her place, turn off the engine and come around to open her door. Extend your hand to help her get out of the car. Memorable rating 5.
20. Escort her to the door. Don’t just sit in the car to see if she’s gotten in safely. Make arrangements for whatever is next, whether it’s who will call whom, another date or whatever feels like the next gentlemanly step that she welcomes. Memorable rating 5.
That may seem like a lot to remember. If you're just starting to get used to chivalry, don't stress and think you have to remember every one right off the bat. You want the date to be fun for both of you after all. Pick some of the most straightforward and memorable ones. Pulling out the chair is memorable, as are opening the doors for the restaurant and the car.
If doing these gestures makes her more appreciative and remember it as a very special evening, you'll have gotten more value from the date than without this attention to detail. That memory may serve you both well in the future.